“Sick and tired of being sick and tired / Had as much of you as I can take / I’m so done, so over being afraid.” ~Lyrics by Francesca Battistelli~
Has fear ever taken a hold of you? Has it gotten the copyrights over your life? Maybe you have even allowed it to bookmark or crease a few pages as reminders of where life had you stuck in fear. When will you get to that point where you say enough is enough, I’m tired of rereading the same story.
Instead, put that story of fear to rest and begin a new chapter of your life called faith.
Say it… fear, you no longer own me and I won’t allow you to continue making me the main character in what was once my story.
Today, will you choose Faith OVER Fear?
My Latest News….No Fear, just Faith!
I had scheduled an appointment to have my annual Pap smear since it was not done earlier in the year due to my diagnosis.
Even though I no longer have a cervix due to my complete hysterectomy, my nurse practitioner recommended that I still have a Pap smear done since there could possibly still be cervical cells.
A few days ago I received a message from the nurse at my gynecologist office to call her. In the past, when I have had my Pap smear, I never received a call. If the result of the Pap smear was good, they never contacted me.
Why was this time any different?
I didn’t make a big deal out of it so I figured I’d just call the nurse back once I had the chance. But after leaving her a message, then attempting to contact her a hour later and in the interim still not hearing back from her, I decided to speak to the lady who schedules appointments.
I explained to her that I had my Pap smear done a few days prior and the nurse left me a message but I still have not received a call back, and considering my history with Ovarian Cancer, I don’t want to wait to find out why she called me.
Since she didn’t have my file with her and she was unaware of the reason the nurse contacted me, all she could do was take my message again and assured me that she would let the nurse know.
At this point, I wasn’t concerned if her call was to give me bad news because there is a peace that only God gives and a sweet reminder to “be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
So I went on with my daily affairs and it didn’t cross my mind until a few hours later, the nurse called back again. She explained the results of the Pap smear, that it came back showing abnormal cells and they are not sure if it’s something to be concerned about because the HPV results was negative.
She said typically, if the results of the pap smear comes back showing abnormal cells and the HPV results is negative, then they would wait 6 months to retest but considering my history with ovarian cancer, the gynecologist wanted to do a Colposcopy. The doctor wanted me to notify my Gyn Oncologist at the Miami Cancer Institute to get his feedback if his office should go ahead with the Colposcopy, wait, or have it done at MCI.
When the Holy Spirit reminds you “my yoke is easy and my burden is light,” (Matthew 11:30) then you can’t help but give it all to God. So no matter what tests or trials come, just remember and feel good in knowing that God will continue to take care of the situation.
Later on that day, my hubby asked me how I felt about hearing the results of the Pap smear and that it’s like going through the ups and downs. Things are going good then now this; that it changed his mood.
My dear hubby! There I go again, being told this news and not considering how he must have felt hearing it because my world was not shaken by it and neither was I concerned about what the results of the Pap smear could mean in terms of my health and my previous diagnosis.
Nope! I’m not worried actually, I told him. I’m not even thinking about it. I refuse to live my life in fear. I know all that God has done for me and that He is over all this and He will take care of me. I will not live my life worrying if I’ll make it to the 5-year mark. I’m going to live life one day at a time, one year at a time. I’m going to live in the moment and enjoy the life Christ has given me and for the time He has given me. I’m going to live my best life knowing that God is on my side and I’m His child.
What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
After contacting my Gyn Oncologist to inform him about the results of my Pap smear, he said he wants to hold off on the Colposcopy. He explained to us that since I don’t have a cervix, the abnormal cells could be residual cells post surgery. He said he’s not concerned about the results of the Pap smear right now because he wants me to complete chemo cycle 10, followed by a CT scan in January. After all that, then he will repeat the Pap Smear and perform the Colposcopy.
Because I know God is sovereign over all things, He continues to replace my fears with faith, my persistence in prayer with praise, my weaknesses with willingness to trust Him, and my uncertainties with understanding that His will be done.
When you change your mindset of what the world sees fear as, you change your thoughts of fear to a Christian perspective of the promise that Jesus gives to those who are His:
F-aith in facing
A-nd the gift of
No matter what curve ball this life may throw at us, we can live it with Faith OVER Fear because when you are a child of God, you have the promise and assurance that Jesus’s death brought us redemption. His death was our debt on the cross. Paid in full!
Jesus paid a debt that He did not owe. He exchanged our place with His so that we may gain Life not Death. He cleared our debts so that we can live this life in Faith NOT Fear knowing we will face eternity with the assurance that His free gift to us was redemption for our sins.
No matter what fears you face, I want you to know that God reigns supreme above them and you never have to allow fear to take hold of you, but rather, allow God to withhold those fears and build up your faith in Him.
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
Society, social media, all have the formula of how to live your best life. Even Joel Osteen’s book “Your Best Life Now” provides a lists of seven steps to living at “your” full potential, BUT do we really need this when the Bible is our ultimate resource, which directs, guides, and instructs us on how to obtain and secure “THE” best life through the confidence we have in knowing who Jesus is and where we are going when we die? We can live our lives, no longer a slave to fear.
What will you choose? A life where society says you can have it all or a life knowing that Jesus gave it ALL for us?
No matter how much we may think we have things under control, there is a certain level of fear we face with uncertainties of the future. The unpredictability of life can bring about a level of fear in not knowing what the future holds, so we need to depend on our sovereign Father who has domination over our existence to remove lives’ fears and replace them with faith in Him.
In the book “A Place Called Heaven” that I’ve been reading, Robert Jeffress speaks about when you die, only to learn that you are at the wrong gate and subsequently being turned away. He further stated, how devastating if you hear these words: “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. Matthew 7:21-23
I think anyone who has lost a loved one or friend develops a level of fear due to the unsurety of not knowing if that person went to Heaven or Hell. There is a parable in the Bible of a Rich Man and a Poor Man. I will share a part of the story, which you can read about it in Luke 16:19-31.
“There was a certain rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and fared sumptuously every day. But there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, full of sores, who was laid at his gate, desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table. So it was that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s bosom. The rich man also died and was buried. And being in torments in Hades, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom. Then he said, ‘I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father’s house, for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment. Abraham said to him, ‘They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them. And he said, ‘No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent. But he said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead’”
I wanted to share this parable to show that even the rich man, while living a life of eternal damnation in Hell, was subjected to a life of fear that his brothers would end up where he is if they refused to give their lives to Christ.
So I ask, why would anyone want to live their life with the fear of not knowing where they would end up when they die? Think about it…Jesus paid the price for us already. He made the way and removed the fear of uncertainty through the cross.
I was recently speaking to someone and I asked him if he started going to church yet and he said no, that though he believes in God, he didn’t feel that right now he needed to be going to church knowing that there are so many hypocrites in church. Plus, he thought he too would be considered a hypocrite because he’s not living the way he should.
A response from another person I spoke to said he believes in God but doesn’t speak to him much…as He’s often forgotten/set aside at this point in his life. He said he kind of threw him into the “To do list” section of his laterrrr life.
Can I just say, without any thought of judgment or condemnation, that in this sinful world we just can’t “wait” or put God to the “side” or even put Him on “hold” until we live out what we consider to be our “best life” and then when we think we have exhausted our worldly pleasures, we turn to Him.
In this life there is no guarantees and none of us know when we have reached the end of the rope and suddenly left trying to hang on, only to realize there is no time left.
Fear disguises itself and can appear in your life in different forms to rob you of the joy, peace, happiness, contentment, assurance, security, love, self-control…..
Fear can even give the false sense of missing out on what life has to offer if you decide to turn your life around and live for Christ. Just like the person I spoke to, he’s aware that he’s not living the way he should; yet, he wasn’t ready to give up being in the world and not of the world.
But the truth of it all is, it’s so wonderful for the grace that Jesus gives. Scripture reminds us that “for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23 and “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”. 1 John 1:9
We don’t have to live with fear of being judged by other believers because with what judgment we judge, we too shall be judged because “the Lord is our judge, the Lord is our lawgiver, the Lord is our king; he will save us.” Isaiah 33:22
Wouldn’t you want to live this life always being ready for the moment God says it’s your time?
Wouldn’t you want that assurance that if you lied down to sleep and it’s the end for you, that you will arise with Christ?
Why don’t you experience spiritual freedom to live this life with faith, freed from the bondage of fear, knowing that your life is redeemed because Christ paid your debt and took your penalty?
I wanted to share this letter that one of my sisters recently wrote me, expressing her fears when she learned that I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. Overcome by her fear of not knowing if I would survive, she realized she had to be strong in the Lord and turn to Father God in prayer. She quickly came to the realization of what fear would do if she succumbed to it, but instead reminded herself that fear had no place in her life.
The paper she printed the letter on is a reminder of Christ’s blood (red), His holiness (white), and His peace (blue). I love the title she chose: “And So God Did!”
-God removed her fears of my illness and brought her comfort
-God healed me from Ovarian Cancer
-God did it all on the cross for us by paying the price for our sins
The results of my Pap smear may be abnormal, but I refuse to let fear be the foundation of my faith. Fear has no place in my story. I did not allow fear to interfere with my faith-based journey to my cancer recovery.
I absolutely love this song by Francesca Battistelli where she goes through this difficult break up because she no longer wanted to be identified by fear. So she packs up her fear in a suitcase and made it clear that she was ending that relationship.
Come on…sing along with me…
Fear, you don’t own me
There ain’t no room in this story
And I ain’t got time for you telling me what I’m not
Like you know me, well guess what
I know who I am
I know I’m strong, brave and I am free
Got my own identity
So fear, you will never be welcome here
Goodbye, goodbye fear
You will never be welcome here
Click link “The Break Up Song” by Francesca Battistelli
Don’t allow fear to own you! No longer should it be your companion. End your relationship with fear and renew your connection with faith.
Hanging out with our good friend Roberto at the hospital who flew from NC to spend Thanksgiving with us.
My chemo team surprised me with a gift just to say they love me and how much JOY I bring them.
A very heartfelt farewell to one of my nurse practitioners (Cristina on right) who’s leaving MCI for a career move and one of my clinical trial team members (Brittney on left) who is moving to London to further her education. It was a bittersweet moment saying goodbye.